Gathering of Love With God's Action in Bormes les Mimosas, France,
Through His Instrument, The Girl of My Will in Jesus
2008-02-25 – Afternoon – Part 1
The Girl of My Will in Jesus in the Holy Spirit: Have most of you heard of mystics?
The Girl of My Will in Jesus in the Holy Spirit: Okay, so you’re familiar with the mystics of our times. As for me, I didn’t know what you know. I’ve been aware of what a mystic is since 2001.
When I began to hear the Lord, in January of 2001, he asked me, “Do you want to be my spouse?” So, I answered, “No, Lord. I can't; I'm already married.” He said, “No, this will be done in a mystical way.” I didn’t know what he meant and so I said, with a voice that seemed to come from inside me, I said, “Oh, a mystic – I don’t know what that is but it must be okay.” So I said yes. And I learned slowly. Through Mary, I learned to abandon myself to Jesus. Mother Mary was always teaching me to be obedient to what I was experiencing, because I was hearing the voice of Jesus inside me. So, I fulfilled my destiny with graces. Jesus was teaching me to abandon myself to his Will. He would speak about the Divine Will. I had heard about all this while on a pilgrimage to Marmora. And as I listened, he would explain to me what the Divine Will was.
Everything really began when someone on the bus handed out a pamphlet on Luisa Piccarreta – it was just a few pages long. There was a picture and in that picture, there was a person whose only nourishment for several years had been the host. She said that she did everything in Jesus. And so, I went home and I said, “Well, if she did it, then I'm going to do the same thing.” And I began to say, “I'm doing the dishes, but I'm not the one washing them – it’s Jesus. Do the dishes, Jesus.” I would sweep the floor: “Sweep the floor, Jesus.” And when I told my daughter, Nathalie, about this, she said, “Mom, that’s rude! You shouldn’t make Jesus do the dishes or sweep the floor.” I didn’t say anything and I continued to do what I had to do. Why? Because it brought me love. I began to love doing the dishes; I began to experience a sense of intimacy with Jesus.
In the very beginning, I began to recite the rosary. I used to do it before then but now it was different – I didn’t need to hold the rosary anymore. There was something inside me that would let me know when it was time to say the ‘Glory Be’, and when it was time for the ‘Our Father’, I would say it. So, one day I said, “I'm going to begin by looking at a door and then I’ll see.” I began saying the rosary and when the time came to say the ‘Glory Be’, I said it. But after having looked at that first door, I counted the things my eyes had turned to and I counted ten; at the end of ten ‘Hail Marys’: the ‘Glory Be’ would come. Well, this was something extraordinary to me. It felt so good to do this that I wanted to keep doing it.
All my days were lived out in the Divine Will. Even before I would get up, I had learned to give: “I give you my human will.” Because in the Divine Will, you must not keep your human will. Therefore, I wanted nothing more to do with my human will. Now that I had had a taste, I was already feeling the benefits of God's grace. Today I can say this, but before, when I was living this, I didn’t know what was happening in my life. But it didn’t matter because I was beginning to be more patient towards my husband.
I had a very good husband. Together, we lived a life filled with love, but there was always something missing – that love from God. As a result, I would always tell my husband to give me more love. And every day, he would ask me, “Did you like your day?” I would answer, “Oh, yes!” But that emptiness was always there, inside me, and I never stopped asking him for things. It was as though I was never satisfied with that love. I was demanding that Maurice satisfy my inner needs and not only my external needs. I wanted to feel it, that love. And that’s how I began wanting my life to change.
When I entered that movement of the Divine Will, then I discovered, I discovered that there were beautiful moments in my life that were really good. Because there had been times – even if you live with your husband and there are moments when you’re happy with your husband – there are always times in life when you don’t really feel satisfied: “Where is happiness? Is this happiness? No, no, this isn't it. You have to be in Heaven to know happiness. Happiness doesn’t exist on earth.” Even though you’re with a man you love and who loves you back, even though you’re surrounded by children who love you and who show you their love… because my father used to say, “Oh, you’re spoiled rotten!” He used to say this because I was spoiled by the people around me: a husband who was always with me, children who gave me so much love and whose teenage years went by like a charm. I had everything I wanted and I wasn’t happy. My father could see this very well with his own eyes. And so, he would say that I didn’t deserve it, but he always said it with a smile. And maybe it’s true that he saw something that I hadn’t seen. I wanted more. But who was going to give it to me? Maurice would do anything to give me love. I often used to say to my children, “You'll never find another man as patient as my husband.” And now, well…
I was more than gratified in my search for true happiness, for true love: all of this led me to the year 2001 when I heard Mother Mary, when I heard the voice of Jesus. That’s when he began talking to me about love. I had never heard anyone talk about love like Jesus. I would melt when he talked to me about love. When I would write for him – because I would write for Jesus like a child at school – I would hear the voice inside me and I would write down what the voice said. When he would ask, “Do you love me?” he would answer for me. And I would cry, I would cry out of love. What I was feeling inside me was what I had always been searching for: it was fulfilling me! I was falling in love with my God! There he was, showing me what love was.
Then, I began to love my neighbour. He was teaching me at the same time to love my neighbour, because I couldn’t love if I didn’t love my neighbour, and he was teaching me this. He was showing me how to love unconditionally those who hurt me. Oh, there weren't very many! Why? Because I didn’t see any evil – oh, I was always with my husband, my three children, together! I had a big girl who was eight years old and another one who had just been born, and I was happy in all this. But he would go further: he had me discover love through my children. When there was sadness in my children, I discovered that there was sadness in all the children of the world. When I prayed for my children, I was praying for all the children of the world. That’s when I began to learn: I was learning to love.
When I would see my husband and he would make me sad, there was still that external part of me that wanted perfection; as I had come to know what perfection was internally, I wanted to have it externally. But Jesus was teaching me; he was showing me how to see through his eyes, not through my eyes. I would look at my husband and Jesus would teach me: “Look at him, look at him! How I love him! He is my child. I am in him. Love him.” Oh, boy – this was something new! I had just felt something different towards my husband. Ah! The love I was feeling inside me for Jesus was in Maurice! Oh, everything seemed different then! So, I learned to see my husband as someone who was loved by Jesus in the same way Jesus loved me – because through the writings, he was bringing about movements inside me. And so, I learned to love the child of God that he was; I loved my husband as a child of God, and, in and through the child of God that he was, he was my husband, he was the one God had chosen just for me.
Oh, that joy didn’t last very long! Oh, but I can still feel it! I began to hear in January and all this came to an end in March: he came for my husband. My husband said yes; he also said yes but not in the same way as I did. I had asked God to die so that my husband and my son and my children could go to Heaven; this had happened before this – I had given my yes before, without knowing it – probably two years prior to this, I think, whereas now, he had just asked my husband for a yes. When my husband died, his joy was great, and as he was having a heart attack, that joy was too much for him to bear.
(Unfortunately, due to technical difficulties, the recording was stopped at this point. Please accept our apologies.)