Gathering of Love With God's Action in Plantagenet, Ontario,
Through His Instrument, The Girl of My Will in Jesus
2007-12-01 – Morning – Part 1
The Girl of My Will in Jesus in the Holy Spirit: We will let our hearts rise up to God, we will sing for God. This song will call all our brothers and our sisters to join us so we can understand that there's only one God, and that our God, we have preferred him to our own life.
The Girl of My Will in Jesus in the Holy Spirit: Only one song is able to rise all the way up to Heaven and that is the song of God's children. The person who is motivated by love, the person who knows he's alive, that he's breathing, the person who knows he's ready to do anything for his brothers and sisters of the whole world: he is the heart of love, he is the song of love.
Only God's children are able to be so determined that they will persevere to the very end, to the point of entering their tomb. To enter one’s tomb is to discover one’s past life without crying over it, without each one of us brooding over what we are, for our journey has not yet come to an end: we haven’t yet fully emerged from our tomb. Yes, the tombstone has fallen; yes, some of the burial cloths have fallen away: the ones that bound us and imprisoned us, preventing us from moving, preventing us from seeing, from hearing, from speaking, from stirring. All this has begun to fall away and we see this on the ground and we say, “Oh! Is this what I went through? Me? My human flesh! I placed so much importance on this tattered flesh when I was worth so much more than this.” The Lord has slowly begun to show us our life; slowly, we have been able to take a look at ourselves; slowly, we are beginning to appreciate ourselves.
We have travelled a short distance and the path that remains can only be seen through the eyes of Jesus, because if we see it through our eyes, we will find that it is long; but if we see it through the eyes of Jesus, he will give us the patience to see the remainder of that path that lies before us. Lord, it can't take much longer, Lord! You told us that the time of your return had arrived, Lord! And we want your return, Lord – not 20 years from now – we want it right away. Lord, we want to have a taste of it! You send us messages, Lord. You tell us, loving Lord, that the time of your return has arrived, that it’s more and more imminent: it’s here! What did you mean by this? Did I understand correctly, Lord? The time of your return has arrived! Were you the one who was gone, Lord, or was I the one who was gone? Were you in my life, Lord? If the answer is yes, then I wasn’t present in my life because I didn’t notice your return within me and that you had always been there. And now, you want to talk about me in relation to you.
You who gave yourself up on the Cross, you who say that you are present in the Holy Eucharist, your Body and your Blood are here? Well, Lord, I must have misunderstood something: I guess I wasn’t there – I must have been off somewhere else. Where was I, Lord? Oh, in a world, in a world of our own choosing! I was going to say, Lord, in a world that we invented ourselves. Well, if I had said this, Lord, then that would mean that suffering isn't real, that epidemics aren’t real, that wars aren’t real, that abortions aren’t real, that martyrs aren’t real, that famine isn't real! Oh, Lord! I've had my share of these things, Lord, and not only me but the whole world. Oh, would my choices be nothing more than illusions? No, they aren’t illusions because I can feel it in my flesh: I can feel my stiff muscles, I can feel my eyes getting weaker, I can even see my white and grey hair, Lord, which will soon be completely white, Lord.
I can see, Lord, how much my lack of confidence makes me suffer, because when I lack confidence in one of my children, one of my grandchildren, in my wife or my husband, well, it’s that I lack confidence in myself because it’s my lack of confidence that causes me to see the pain in them, and this affects me. Because what makes me suffer the most is that I can't admit that I see the consequences of my own choices. And this, Lord, this really hurts! It’s hard, Lord, to forgive, to forgive myself. It’s much easier to say, “Oh, I won't talk to him anymore; let him deal with his own problems! Oh, there's nothing I can do about it; it’s his own fault!” This is easier to say but it’s much more difficult to say, “Oh, this is how I am. What I'm feeling is what is inside me – it’s my anger towards myself.”
So I still need to be purified, Lord. I still have many things to give, and give, and give: cause, choices and consequences. But, Lord, you always say that you’re here, that the time of your return has arrived. But your return, Lord, it’s me: it’s me, returning to my life. Lord, why do you say ‘your return’? Am I not the one who ran away from your Life? Am I not the one who ran from what you gave to me: your Life? Am I not the one who shut my eyes to the light, who shut out the truth, who did not believe in your death, in your mercy, in your resurrection? Aren’t these feelings an indication that I don’t love myself even though you love me? I'm the one who doesn’t believe in your love: all this made me run away. I ran far from my home; I wanted to enter a world that is false, full of lies, hypocritical, violent, a world of materialism, of power, a vain world that claims to be in possession of a ‘self’.
Today, Lord, we confuse your Presence, your Mother's presence with our own presence. We want to be present when it is you who is present to us; nothing comes from me, nothing comes from us, but only from you. There is nothing, Lord, that comes from us. I didn’t create this world, and therefore, there is no me, for you alone can claim to be the Eternal Presence. I am nothing without you, and therefore, to say that I am me is to say that I am present, that I am eternal, but without you. That ‘me’ belongs to the one who uttered it, and the one who uttered it is none other than Satan, is none other than the fallen angel who brought with him a multitude of angels who had fallen into that 'self'.
I chose to live in this world: I chose to live in that 'self', in Satan's 'self'. I chose to believe that I was someone, that I was able to manage my life, that I was able to be sincere, that I was able to be truthful, that I was able to be just, that I was able to make decisions, that I was able to take care of myself, that I was able to help those I love using means available to me: visible and invisible ones. Jesus, I even tried to use the energy around me because I was taught to do this – but who taught me this? The 'self', and the 'self' is Satan – it isn't you, Jesus.
O God of love! I wanted to believe in something that was good! This wasn’t wrong but I turned to the wrong place – I turned to this world. I wanted to be with everyone els. Through my pain, I wanted to be supportive of everyone else so we could help one another to cope. The spirit of this world is such a lying, deceitful, manipulative spirit! It’s nothing but vanity, it’s nothing but lies, because everything has been accomplished. God, ever since the moment you came on earth, you never, never left, for you have always been with us: your Life, you placed it within us. The moment you died on the Cross and the moment your Flesh offered itself up, you shed your Blood, and then, everything entered me and I received everything from you – your Flesh, your Blood – everything entered me: you would be in me forever.
You are God and you are by your Father's side; you are with us and we are with you. But we, we haven’t always been with you. We have cried out to you. We believed, Jesus, that you were gone. We spent many, many years hearing, “We want your return, we want you to come back.” Well, Jesus, we hadn’t understood a thing – you were here! Jesus, you had to crack the shell of our pride, you had to knock on the door to our hearts for us to open it to you, so that we could hear – hear your voice, so that we could see your movements, your action within us, for everything was within us. All has been accomplished. The moment your Flesh entered me, the moment your Blood flowed over me, all was accomplished. Your entire Life permeated our beings and everything was present. You, the Eternal One, you, the Alpha and the Omega, you were carrying out your Father's Will. Before we came to be, we were within you and everything was present. You came on earth, you revealed yourself to us. You who were the Eternal One, you who were our flesh, you came down to our level to show us that we were you, that we were like you, that we were God's children – but we didn’t recognize ourselves.
We weren't able to recognize you, Jesus, because we couldn’t see ourselves as children of God. What we saw was a man, a man who was the son of a carpenter, a man who had a mother who was tiny, very humble, who had very little of her own, so little that no one noticed her.
We weren't able to recognize you because we were blind. How could we have seen the Perfect Flesh? We could see ourselves – we were imperfect, we were incapable of savouring the eternal life that we are; we were inside our tomb with a door that was so very, very heavy. Do you remember, o God? The angels came and they removed the tombstone. But the door to our tomb is so very, very heavy! Our guardian angels were more than willing to open our door but we were holding on to it, we were holding on to it with our spirit of this world.
There were so many of us! Thousands and thousands and thousands holding on to that door, and our guardian angels could see that we were holding it shut and because they love us, they respected us. They respected what we, we had chosen: the spirit of this world, a world that had become our tomb.
We weren't able to see you as you truly are, Jesus. You wanted to give us your Life but we wanted nothing to do with it. You talked to us about your Father but we didn’t understand because we wanted nothing to do with any of this. Every time we went to receive your Body and your Blood, every time, Jesus, there was something inside us: this world, along with all it had built for us. And you, you were always there, always, always, always. Jesus, you did not leave us, you never left us for a single moment, but we, we were always somewhere else. There were so many sounds and images that caught our attention! We would turn to these things and we lived them through our emotions. All these things were what we were: the 'self', Satan's pride with all its trappings, for we were nothing more than pretentious beings – but you were always there. We clothed ourselves in lies because when we would put on our clothes, we were constantly trying to deceive ourselves: we always had to make a good impression on this world – but you were never in our minds – and therefore, we deceived ourselves. We were liars, we didn’t want to look our age: when we were nine years old, we wanted to be fifteen; when we were fifteen, we wanted to be thirty; when we were thirty, we wanted to stay thirty forever. We didn’t want to be thirty to then, one day, when it was already too late, lose what we had just gained: the fullness of life and of beauty. It was with this that we clothed ourselves, Jesus. We were never where you wanted us to be; we chose to be blind. You showed us a path to follow and we, we took the path of this world. In order to follow that path, we agreed to have our eyes blindfolded, Jesus, because what that path showed us wasn’t what you wanted to show us.
You, you were the Light, and as the light bothered us, we put a blindfold over our eyes. Living like this in semi-darkness was fine with us. As a result, we groped our way around to get where we wanted to go. It was easy – there were sounds: we would move towards the sounds. We liked it, and we paid attention to the feelings we had – they guided our steps. And well, we liked to follow those paths, but we weren't with you; we were on our paths of life, created by this world. This is what we wanted: the 'self', my path, my choices, my future, my career, my vacations, my retirement, my illness, my death. This, this is what this world showed me. For the 'self' is eternal: it is me, born into a life that already exists; a 'self' that shows me what I have to do without asking for permission, without worrying about other ‘selves’ – me, myself, and I, and I, and I, and I. I take care of me; take me as I am; I just have to show up and everything happens exactly the way I want it to.
And so, this 'self' accompanies all the other ‘selves’: they support one another. It’s true, there is solidarity within the realm of the 'self': be like me because if you aren’t like me, then you aren’t what I like. And just take a look at the other ‘selves’ – they’re like me, so you have to be like them. We’ll all be little ‘selves’ coming together to rise to the top: I can help you to be like me – climb up onto my shoulders, be like me. Show me what you see: this is how you return the favour to me. I am helping you to reach the top: I can help you with your career – this is advantageous to me as your success is a result of what I have shown you. Help others to do the same; carry them on your shoulders. And on, and on, and on until a pyramid has been formed that reaches the summit. Being an individual who is part of a greater whole will ensure that we build a beautiful tower of Babel in order to be a god – this is the 'self' – but this 'self' has a summit and that summit is Satan. That pyramid, it wasn’t built from the sky down towards the earth; it was built from the ground up, rising up to reach the sky. And whatever comes from the earth is nothing more than pride; whatever comes from the earth wants to reveal its power in order to control. This is why we need 'selves' to build that pyramid: to rise higher, and higher, and higher, all the way to the top.
It will always have a peak – it won't be the little ‘selves’ at the bottom who will rise to the top; it won't be those who have climbed up onto other ‘selves’ who will rise to the top; it will be the one who wanted the pyramid: and that’s Satan. He will claim to be the one who saved you, saved you from your insignificance. He saved you from your humility, he saved you from your sacrifices, he saved you from sharing what you had, from your penance. He shows you that it feels good to live in the 'self', that it isn't unpleasant. And so, in order to achieve all this, he watches you from his place at the top, but he needs the ‘selves’ to reach the top. This is Satan: the 'self' is Satan, the New Age movement is Satan.
So, God of love, I ran away from my life. Where was I when there was humility in my life? Where was I when I should have done penance? Where was I when I should have seen myself as little? I was out there in that world. Yes, Lord, when I see all this, I realize that I wasn’t with you. I have always been with you for all eternity – my flesh comes from you. I was once pure but now am impure; I was once a child but now am grown; I was once young but now am old; I was once beautiful but now am ugly; I was once eternal but now am mortal. I ran away from life, I was no longer in my rightful place. Yes, you teach me, you teach me now to open up my life. It was necessary for you to come speak in my heart, for you to put words in my life in order to nurse me, to free me of my chains. You exercised patience.
You sent your Mother to me, you made your Presence known in my life. I believed in it and I didn’t believe in it; I hoped and I lacked hope; I had faith and I lacked faith; I fought and then I let go. Why? Because this came from my will; I was living in my bruised flesh; my soul was crying out to you; my soul could see you but I silenced it, I ridiculed it, I threw it on the ground, I denied it. Today, you are teaching me to love my soul, you are teaching me to recognize that it is life; yes, you are teaching me to love life: my life.
Jesus, if I am talking like this it’s because I feel your return within me, in my life – yes, I give you my consent. You have always been here and I am the one who rejected your Life, I am the one who rejected your Eternal Presence. And you proclaim your return to us as though you had left – such is your humility. O God of love, you bear this movement upon your shoulders once again. Is this how much you love us, Jesus? So your eternal love is real? You are so good, so perfect! O God of love, this is another side of you that I was not aware of. You agree to send us messengers to tell us: “Jesus is speaking to us of his return” – of his return – when it’s a question of our return to our own lives.
God, how perfect is your love! You told us: “I am gentle and humble of heart.” You didn’t tell us: “Your hearts are hard as stone.” No, you told us that you are gentle and humble of heart – these words were meant to comfort us because of what we were doing to your heart. We were the ones who were rejecting your presence in our lives; we were the ones who were deceitful, and you, always faithful, you were there. And today, we’re beginning to have a taste of all this, we’re beginning to savour our presence with you, because, Jesus, you constantly need to remind us that we’re here – over, and over, and over again – so that we don’t forget that we have returned to you, to your Heart.
Jesus of love, it took many reminders from Mother Mary, who was asking us to ‘pray from the heart.’ It’s as though Mother Mary had placed a key in our hearts, and she turned that key slowly, slowly, slowly, and that key was the cross: she was holding her Son's cross in her hands and she was having us taste that cross. Every ‘Hail Mary’ was a movement from Mary for us: she would always come to comfort us, she would always come to tell us, “Do not be discouraged; have faith. You will learn to be obedient to my Son's call. He is in you, but you, you must learn. Do not be afraid, I am here, Mother is here.”
It took many ‘Hail Marys’, recited by Mary, for us to understand this, and there will be even more ‘Hail Marys’. Because, Jesus, we want everyone else to know that your return is about their return within themselves, so that we can be with you: to taste of your Presence, because we want to be ready, Jesus, to live in your world of love until the day when we contemplate your Presence with our eyes, because: it has been said that you will appear in triumph before all the chosen, that all the angels will be present. Yes, that will be your visible coming, Jesus.