Gathering of Love With God's Action in Scarborough, Ontario,
Through His Instrument, The Girl of My Will in Jesus
2007-10-21 – Part 1
The Girl of My Will in Jesus in the Holy Spirit: Open your hearts to Heaven's grace. What you are about to hear is not for your head, it will go directly to your heart. All those who abandon themselves will receive graces of healing, of liberation, and those who are within you – your children, grandchildren, your brothers and your sisters – will also receive healings. When Heaven speaks in our heart, we receive graces. This isn’t only for us, it’s for the whole Church.
These days, there are many signs from Heaven. If Heaven manifests itself to us it is because we need those signs. Isn’t this because we lack faith in what the Church gives us? We receive the sacraments, we receive blessings from Heaven, and yet, we walk in fear: we’re afraid that our children won't be saved. Where, then, is our faith? Didn’t Jesus take all our sins with him to the cross? We must believe in the Redemption. Let’s observe what we do when look around us: we look at shopping centers that are open on Sundays and we shake our heads. They don’t need us to shake our heads, they need our ‘Hail Marys’; they're already saved but they need help, they need those who pray for them. If we have the rosary in our hand, if we have the cross imprinted on our hearts, that’s because we received graces and those graces have multiplied so we can come to their aide, and not so that we can shake our heads. If we conduct ourselves with a lack of faith, that’s because we choose to live with that doubt.
Jesus gave us teachings of love; he himself came to talk to each one of us. The Word, whether someone reads it in 2007 or whether it was said out loud 2007 years ago, is the same! In the past, Jesus would heal, Jesus would liberate. Is it any different today? We eat the Flesh of Jesus, we drink his Blood. Is it possible that the Blood of Jesus and the Flesh of Jesus have lost their strength?
You see, we’re the ones making choices. We’re faced with two options: “Am I going to believe in what I do out of love for God, or am I going to keep myself in my fears, in my worries?” We have to live the Gospel, we have to live it! Jesus said to us: “Follow me and I will show you; follow me and you will receive what my Father wants to give you.” These words are inscribed in every word of the Gospel. In the Gospel, when Jesus says to us, “Love your neighbour,” this means: “Follow me and do as I say.” When he says, “Love your enemy,” he is saying, “Do as I do, follow me.” Jesus is the Way, Jesus is the Truth, Jesus is the Light; every word is the truth, it is the way, it is the light. Therefore, what have we to fear if we do what Jesus tells us to do? Well, we’ll be with him, won't we? Even if we see that our children don’t come to mass, even if we see our children leaving their husband or wife, even if we see that our grandchildren no longer know who Jesus is, if we do as Jesus said in the Gospel, it will be as though they were reading the Gospel for we will be the word of the Gospel, we will be what Jesus wants us to be – children who have placed their feet in the footsteps of Christ.
When Christ was on earth, did he stay in luxurious homes, getting up at ten or eleven in the morning, inviting people over and laughing all night? On earth, Jesus lived in solitude; Jesus lived on earth trusting in his Father; Jesus lived on earth knowing that he was doing what his Father wanted him to do. Jesus didn’t tell us that we would follow in his footsteps while feeling only joy; he said, “There is no place for me to rest my head.”
No matter where he went, Jesus knew that he had to build, as nothing was easy in the world in which he lived. Children were struggling with the laws, rigid laws; family life was not respected because they were oppressed; there was illness and there were no hospitals like the ones we have today; there was poverty, there was injustice. People believed in false gods, there was idolatry everywhere. No one wanted to hear about love. Jesus would come along and he would get right to work: he had to clear the way no matter where he was; he had to start from scratch because hearts were filled with pain, filled with suffering. Hearts wanted to cry out, but they didn’t know whom to cry out to. They wanted to cry out to God, but they felt incapable of crying out to God because they had no right to – this is what they believed. Great sinners were not supposed to address God because they weren't worthy of this. They, therefore, had to offer, offer what they did not have, and as they had nothing to offer, they remained in the background, picking up little crumbs. Those who wanted very much to be understood had no one to listen to them, and God was appearing among them, and God was speaking to them. People’s eyes were beginning to open, people were beginning to dry their tears, the sick were beginning to hope that they would recover their health; mothers and fathers hoped their children would grow to a certain age without coming to know death.
When Jesus began talking to them of his Father's Kingdom, he was coming to bring them an even greater hope in life. He came to announce to them that they would enter God's Kingdom. They who thought themselves unable to turn to God because they couldn’t offer him what they truly wanted to give him as it was not theirs to give, had just heard a Man speaking of hope, speaking of happiness, speaking of eternity. Hearts were opening up; he was gathering children together and they believed in what he was saying. Why did they believe in what he said? Because he came to speak directly to their hearts. No one had ever spoken to their hearts; people had spoken of a law of love, of a law that came from the One who IS.
The One who IS had come to speak to Moses in order to show them how to behave before God and before men. This law was made for them; it was the heart of the Torah. It showed them how to live, how to behave before God. But when Jesus came to speak, then it was the Heart itself that was speaking. Beforehand, they had been told that the laws were the heart of the Torah, but now they were hearing the Heart speak. They understood because when Jesus would speak, it touched their hearts directly, without going through their minds: the poorest understood, the great sinners had hope, the sick knew that they could ask – for, before this, those who were sick were regarded as people who deserved what they were living because they were impure – and this Man was turning his attention to them, was coming to kiss them, was coming to comfort them.
What then was that Word that seeks out what is unknown? They lived the Word of God, the living Word was standing before them and the living Word was presenting itself to them as something that was accessible to them. And the Word never left – it is with us – every day, we can see the Word, feel the Word, live the Word. How is it that we, we are such a small group at present? Is this because we have seen the Word, understood the Word, lived the Word? Yes, we have seen the Word; yes, we have understood the Word, but we haven’t lived it.
The Word is the eyes of God, it is the hearing of God, it is the movements of God. The Word is to see God, it is to feel God in our life, it is to understand his movements of love, it is what we are in and through everything that is God. We are not strangers to the Word; the Word gave itself, it offered itself and we took it.
Jesus Eucharist allows us to receive him, Jesus Eucharist nourishes us. Since we receive the Body of Jesus, since we receive the Blood of Jesus, we are no longer; we are what he, he is. He takes everything we are and he envelops it in his movement of love. He wants to take our eyesight, he wants to take our hearing, he wants to take our speech, our mind, he wants to take our actions and he wants to take our feelings. Because he gives himself continuously, he wants all this, and this is very important to him!
And we, what do we do? We walk about in a world of suffering and we absorb all this. Today, we see apostasy everywhere: there's so much idolatry around us, there are so many people who no longer want to hear about Jesus. People no longer want to remain part of the Catholic Church of Rome; people don’t even want anything to do with Benedict XVI because Benedict XVI asks us to follow God's Ten Commandments, he asks us to conduct ourselves as Jesus taught us. And what does this do to us on the inside? It makes us cry, it makes us worry, it causes our fear to grow. We have faith but it has almost completely disappeared because if our faith were as big as a mustard seed, well, we wouldn’t be here.
We need to come together to hear the words that come directly from our hearts through the power of the Holy Spirit. What we’re hearing at this very moment belongs to each of us, and the Holy Spirit enables us to understand this, enveloped in his power, so that we can give him what belongs to Jesus. Our thoughts, our gazes, what we hear, our words, actions and feelings of pain belong to Jesus. He is the loving Physician; he's the one who saved us from eternal death; he triumphed over evil. All is accomplished: he died, rose again and was glorified by the Father.
He wants to bring us into his movement and his movement is: “I have accomplished everything, Father.” He wants us to be part of the accomplishment, but in order to be part of that accomplishment, we must live the Gospel. We must live it every moment of our lives. When he was on earth and would speak to the poor, he would say to them: “Happy are the poor for they shall enter my Father's Kingdom. Happy are those who cry for they shall be comforted.” We must live this! Every day that we feel we’re not getting enough love, well, we have to give this lack of love to Jesus: “I don’t want this to be part of my life; I give this to you; you know its cause, my choices, and the consequence of this – this is yours.” Why do I lack love? Isn't it because I made certain choices when faced with certain movements?
One day, when I was very little, I was told, “Don’t touch that plate on the counter.” But I didn’t listen and I took the plate and the plate broke; I was punished, and I can still remember it! This led me to believe that mom didn’t love me and I lived with this, and this brought me a lot of pain. Well: “I give this to you, Jesus; this is the consequence of a choice I made before a temptation; I no longer want to live with this inside me.” Jesus is the only one who can take this.
How many times have we suffered in the past because of the choices we made when we were before another person? Because the little girl, when she dropped that plate and heard those words that hurt her, she could have given that by saying: “Jesus, I give this to you; you know that I didn’t mean to do wrong; I give you my mother’s words.” Jesus is ready to take the movement, the action that was carried out, and the words that mom said to the little girl – because the words uttered by mom were words filled with worry; she was afraid for her little girl, and she had also realized that she had just lost the fourth plate of her set of dishes. She did have a certain feeling of her own: “I really would have liked to have a complete set of dishes,” but this was no longer the case. Through the words she said to her little girl, those two feelings were present. But the little girl took them as a punishment: “My mother doesn’t love me and it’s my fault.” And so, this resulted in the child growing up with this, and her flesh remembers it.
The mind is part of our flesh, our eyes are part of our flesh; years later, once we’ve grown up, when we see a child doing the same thing, we recall this, and the pain comes flooding back. Do you know how many movements such as these are in our flesh? There are thousands, millions of them. Why? Because we carry the suffering of our parents, we carry the suffering of our grandparents, we carry the suffering of our great-grandparents, and this goes all the way back to the first time someone said hurtful words to a child; and as far as this is concerned, we don’t know when it started, but who does know this? Jesus does.
When Jesus was on the Cross, he was aware of all the suffering caused by sin. Because when the little girl went to take the plate that was on the counter, she wasn’t supposed to do that. She therefore committed the sin of disobedience: she was supposed to obey her mother.
What led the little girl to disobey? That’s because evil is always present around us; evil is a spirit that wants to make us suffer. How can an evil spirit affect a little girl, making her touch a plate? It’s that inside every human being there is human will.
Human will must choose between good and evil, and this, this dates back to Adam and Eve's sin: the knowledge of good and evil. When God created them, they lived in the Divine Will, the Will of God that is perfect. God had told them: “Do not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for great hardship will befall you.” When they disobeyed, they came to know good and evil, they found themselves in their human will: the Divine Will withdrew from them and they entered their human will. And, from that moment on, they always had to choose: good or evil.
Did you know that this was the only sin Adam and Eve committed? There were no other sins before God. However, Cain committed a sin, not only before God but before his neighbour, and that sin led to many, many, many other sins, so much so that it was as though evil had suffocated good. This is because, on the inside, the flesh is subjected to sin. It has a great tendency to always listen to sin. How many times have we, we judged our neighbour? Five times, one hundred, one thousand, ten thousand? Even more than this, and yet, we don’t want to judge our neighbour. What leads us to judging our neighbour? We go to Communion and while we’re still walking down the aisle, we judge: “Oh, he's walking too slowly! Oh, someone took my place; what's he doing there?” We aren’t able to avoid this because of our flesh: it remembers. Our flesh is constantly subjected to committing sins.
And that little girl, she was in a movement of temptation. That little girl didn’t want to disobey her mother, but something was telling her: “Oh, come on! Why shouldn’t you take the plate? You would just be helping your mother.” At first, she hesitated: “Oh, no! My mother told me not to take the plate.” And then, there it was again: “But if you help, it will take less time – mom is tired.” And then, she went to take the plate and she broke the plate unintentionally. All this was provoked by evil, which places us in situations leading to disobedience.
Today, no one wants to hear about evil spirits; people say that this isn’t true. Well, there are evil spirits around us just as there are good spirits around us. The angels are with us – guardian angels – they’re part of our life; but there are also evil angels – evil spirits that are also around us – and it’s a constant battle: between good and evil. When we don’t give Satan room in our life, he has trouble influencing us. The more we give room to Jesus in our life, the more we remain as little children, and therefore, humble. Consequently, he has difficulty influencing us. It’s as though we were covering ourselves in oil, you know, and when he tries to grab hold of us, he can't; as a result, we’re much more peaceful. But when we’re just a tiny bit proud, he, he knows it. Why? Because he recognizes himself, he sees that his reflection is upon us. He knows how to recognize pride – he is pride. It doesn’t take much for him to be able to see that his reflection is upon us; it is through this that he will influence the being that we are.
Remember Eve: when he tempted Eve, he told her that she could have a conversation with God, that it wouldn’t be a bad thing to know what God knew, that it would be much more interesting to God to have a conversation on equal terms. The more he spoke to Eve, the more she began to reflect what he was; he recognized his reflection upon her, so he tempted her even more. When Eve went to find Adam, she reflected pride. Adam wasn’t able to see Eve's humility, he couldn’t see the woman who was obedient to God. He approached Eve and Eve spoke, and he listened to Eve, and the more he listened to Eve, the more Eve's reflection was passed onto Adam as well: both had the choice of returning to God. From the first word, Adam could have said to the woman: “Be quiet, woman, listen to your God.” But he didn’t do this: that was a choice he made. In that moment, he made a choice: “I choose the knowledge of good and evil for myself” – he had just become aware of human will.
The little girl, she also had been aware of something – she had a tiny glimmer of pride: “Mom doesn’t want me to, but I’ll do it anyway just to please her.” One could think: “That’s all well and good, but she just wanted to help her mom – there's nothing wrong with that!” But above all, she had to obey, she had to be humble: to put her mother before herself, to put what her mother wanted before what she, the little girl, wanted. Even if we know we can help, we must put obedience first, because there's only a fine line between good and evil. We must always choose obedience, the desires of others before our own.
When God places us in a situation and that situation requires that we obey the Father, his Father, we must obey, for the mother represents a being that is superior to the child. Therefore, to the child, she is the very presence of God the Father, and the little girl should have recognized this. The little girl wasn’t able to rely on herself, but she could rely on her mother. And so, in our life, it’s the same thing. God is the one who knows what is good for us – it isn’t us.
The thoughts we have belong to God, not to us, because God, he's the one who gave us the ability to think, and therefore, we must return to God that which belongs to God. Whether a thought is good or whether a thought is bad, it belongs to God. We must give him every movement of our mind in order to be at peace, in order to be in the life of Jesus. God wants to make us understand that if there is suffering in our life, that’s because of our choices before sin, and that sin is desired by Satan in order to make us suffer. But as Jesus brought all sins unto death, we must always have our eyes fixed on the cross in order to believe that he, he can do anything.
We must not be afraid of tomorrow; God has already prepared everything. We must give him the things that make us suffer. How many times have we heard cursing, how many times have we heard insults, which have entered our flesh? And when we hear hurtful words, we end up suffering, these things affect us. Well, in those moments, we must give to Jesus: “Jesus, what I have just felt belongs to you; take the causes, choices and consequences.” In that moment, Jesus gives us peace because those things that entered us have taken up room inside us; they pushed aside the love inside us to become rooted within us. But Jesus, he wants us to give these to him: by giving these to him, Jesus takes away the evil. With a fire of love, he cleanses us and we receive healing.
Let’s take a look at our soul – when we go to Confession, our soul is enveloped in grace: this is sanctifying grace. Our soul is cleansed by sanctifying grace and we receive strength so that we are able to believe that we have been healed. We become like a light, and on judgement day, we’ll see a pure soul that agreed to present itself as having been cleansed by Jesus himself – this, this is a healing: the evil was taken away, we were cleansed, and we healed.
Our body is an envelope of flesh, it is matter. Our flesh continuously enables our neighbour to see us because it is visible. Our soul is invisible; I can't see it and you can't see it. But my flesh, I can see it and you can see it. God gave it to me so I can be on earth with everyone else, because I'm a human being. If we were to see all the wounds inside our flesh, which were caused by sin, we would see the same wounds Jesus received on his flesh; they whipped Jesus, they wounded him, his body was completely covered in blood: from the tips of his toes to the end of every strand of hair, everything was in pain! Inside us, our flesh is marked by sin. Jesus wants to eradicate the evil that is known to our flesh. With his fire of love, he wants to cleanse all of this so that we might avoid reverting to evil, and he wants to heal us, he wants our flesh to heal. All this is written in the Gospel.
We’re here listening to what the Holy Spirit wants us to hear because now is the time when we must renounce our human will. It says in the Gospel: “Come die in me.” We must no longer be, but rather be in Christ. Paul used to say, “I no longer want to be in my flesh, for there is a splinter in it. I want to die in Christ, I want to be Christ.” But this was impossible to him. Today, the Spirit of God tells us that yes, this is possible, because Jesus comes to gather all hearts together, and he comes to speak directly in our hearts so as to change hearts of stone into hearts of flesh. No human will ever be able to do this; only Jesus will carry out this movement because he's the Redeemer, he's the Purifier, and it isn’t we humans. If we’re here, that’s because it is the Will of God that desires it; it isn’t the being that I am or Nicole who can speak in hearts, for it isn’t up to us, in our human will, to be here; we have nothing to give you but our prayer.
If, in 2001, the Lord decided to speak inside me: that’s because it was his choice and not mine. Before 2001, I had my family, I had my husband, I had my children and I had two grandchildren. My life was a full life; I enjoyed my life. I had my husband, I had my children, and we lived as Catholics; we would go to mass every Sunday. We were very close. We didn’t live in luxury, we had only what we needed but it was enough for us. I didn’t know anything about messages; I didn’t know that there were signs from Heaven, like when Mother Mary appears. We would talk about God amongst ourselves and our home was a happy one!
In my life, when the Lord came to speak to me, it upset my family a little – you could even say quite a bit! Because in 2001, Mother Mary began speaking in my heart on January 1st. I would hear her voice: the voice of a woman, a gentle voice that doesn’t speak to my mind but that speaks inside me. Can you imagine what it’s like to hear Mary's voice inside you? What is was like for my husband, for my children? I said, “But Mother, what are you doing?” And my husband, “Oh, come on! That can't be, it’s not true.” And they said much, much more than this!
Fifteen days later, it was my guardian angel, and I told my children about it, I told my husband about it because we were a united family. This prepared me to hear the voice of Jesus inside me that same week. Then too, I told my children, I told my husband. My husband couldn’t believe it and neither could my children, for that matter.
Heaven came for my husband on the 4th of March, 2001, because it was his time! But, for my children – what was it like for them? They lost their father and they lost their mother! Because a mother who listens to the voices of Mary and Jesus constantly throughout her day, day and night, well, this can seriously change a family! They had to give up, they had to give up a mother who welcomes them, a mother who cooks all the time, and who listens to her children, and who talks like them, has conversations with them, just like it used to be before all this began. I no longer use the same words, I can no longer talk to them as they would like me to talk to them. Often, my children say to me, “Mom, sometimes we wish you would be like before.” I look at them and I say, “But I can't do that anymore, I can't go back; I don’t want to because I made my choice.” And I say to them, “I do this for you, I do this for the little ones.”
Because now I know – Jesus talks to me about his teachings – he talks to me about how I was before, about what we all once were, because when there's a gathering like this one, I hear the same thing as you do, at the same time as you do. Because when all this started, I was learning, I was learning what love was. I had never understood what love was, true love; it was necessary for Jesus to tell me about his Father, to talk about him, to tell me about the Holy Spirit.
Slowly, I was learning, I was learning who God of Love is, as I was at that time, with my limited vocabulary: God would talk to me. And also, I learned who my neighbour was, who I was in relation to my neighbour and my neighbour in relation to me. I was learning about love; I was learning that I had never loved. I, who thought that I had loved my children, who thought that I had loved my husband, I was learning that my love had not been what it should have been. I was also learning where sin comes from, what sin had done to the lives of all children, to my life, and to the lives of all those who were on earth. I was learning that all this is the consequence of all the sins committed before us. I was learning to discover that there would be a great purification, that we were going to see our life on earth, to see our final judgement, while on earth, within ourselves, and Jesus was telling me how all this was going to happen.
He had me write all this down word by word. All that has been written was written by my hand, but not a single word came from me. This was very painful for me because I had a limited vocabulary. I managed to reach grade nine in trade school with a lot of difficulty, forced to stay after school because there were thirteen of us at home, because it was too noisy. My marks were just high enough to get my diploma to become a hairdresser. I wasn’t a person who read a lot because when I tried to read – I would read, but often, I didn’t understand what I was reading; I always needed a dictionary by my side, and I found this so tiring that I wasn’t drawn to reading.
So, I learned how to do construction with my husband. We had bought an old house, and three old cottages that would be combined into one. My husband had managed to find a very good job – he was a supervisor. In 1996, he lost his job, and at 56 years of age, you know, there aren’t many people who want to hire you. So, with the little money we had, we bought an apartment building that was going to be torn down. So, you see, I would say to Jesus: “Jesus, you can give me a hammer – I’ll know what to do with it – but don’t give me a pencil!” Then, he would say, “Do not worry, someone will help you,” but I didn’t know anyone; I didn’t even know what a prayer group was. Did you know that I didn’t even go before the Blessed Sacrament for adoration because no one had taught us to do this! We would go to mass every Sunday but, at mass, we don’t adore; I learned how to do this at the same time as what I was living.
Over time, Jesus transformed my life to such an extent that he said to me, “Now I am sending you out on the road.” The first time he sent me to meet people, it was in a sugar shack and there must have been about six of us. Oh! This was fine with me because they were friends and it was easy because the voice is always there, I repeat what it says: like right now, I say the words and Nicole repeats them – it’s easy! But the second time, when he sent me out, I saw lots of cars parked outside, and so, I said, “Oh, no! Jesus!” And he said to me, “The evening is not yours; it is up to me to run things.” So, I repeated, I repeated the words just as I'm repeating the words now.
How does he bring about an evening, a gathering of love, as he calls it? It’s that when you agree to come here, your heart is joined to all the hearts of those present; therefore, the hearts speak. Jesus sees to it that he speaks to the hearts, and I hear Jesus inside me, and everything just happens. And when my eyes are open, like at this moment, well, the words come from a source within me and they emerge without my having to think, to react: everything comes from God.
And now, he has just said, “Now, take some time to rest.” Thank you, Lord.