Gathering of Love With God's Action in Saint Joseph, New Brunswick,
Through His Instrument, the Girl of My Will in Jesus
2007-09-14 – Part 1
The Girl of My Will in Jesus in the Holy Spirit: I was living something difficult in my family because one of my sisters – her name is Rita – was at the point of death; she had cancer and she was in her last moments of life; and so, I was living this at the same time as: work, fatigue, that need to pray and my mother.
And my sister, my sister was dying; it was really something that was difficult. It was the first time there was illness in our family, no one else was ill. We were thirteen children and she was the second one, and she had cancer.
We have often heard people saying: “Ah! There's going to be cancer in a few years – one person out of three will get cancer.”
And now, it had struck our family! All this sort of threw us off course, but we went forward, we went forward with this without really knowing what was happening.
So, the need to live this in prayer, I did it with my mother; I would go to her house to recite my rosary to support her while my two other sisters were at her bedside, along with my other brother, to spend the last three months of her life with her.
At a certain moment, I felt very strongly inside me that I had to go see her; why this need? It was as if, for me, it was: “No, I have to go before she dies.”
So, I left for Quebec, for Lévis, and when I arrived, my two sisters, discouraged, said, “You must not keep her here, leave her alone, she has to go.”
So, I looked at them and I didn’t know what to do; me, I had never experienced this! But that need to go see her was too strong; I said, “I can't, I want to be by my sister’s side.”
So, I took her hand and I stayed; those minutes were just as important to me as my life had been with my sister since her birth; that was the need to be with her, that’s all, she was my sister!
Then, I went by her side and she seemed to communicate with me through her eyes; she was in a semi-conscious state.
And those moments were moments of love; it was as if she knew what was happening inside me while I wasn’t aware of what was happening inside me.
You know, the last moments are the last and most radiant moments for a person; that’s when she knows why she's on earth; that’s when she seems to walk on earth in a way that we haven’t yet achieved.
It’s as if Heaven had opened its doors to her, and was saying to her: “You still have some time left with them, a few minutes with them, take them.”
And the person seems to live them, to live those moments, but with intensity, in silence, with their eyes. They no longer have the strength to talk but everything they’re living, they’re living intensely inside themselves; everything vibrates inside them. They want to live those moments in a wonderful way that we don’t understand; them, they’re ready, they’re ready to live those moments because they’re close to God.
She barely had the strength to lift her hands, and when I would see that movement, I would help her so she could be in her movement as she wanted to be, because I had seen my sister praying – she would cross her hands and she would pray.
In the last moments, her shoulder broke, but she, she didn’t bother with it; it was her Jesus of love, it was what she wanted; up until the last moment, that movement was so present in her.
And so, she communicated this to us, that love; I knew inside me that she was living her last minutes but in a way that was so filled with love.
She was just skin and bones, she was so emaciated but she was beautiful, she was so beautiful because I could feel her interior.
And so I, who don’t sleep very much – I would sleep maybe three hours a night, it was enough for me – that night, God let me sleep and then, without my realizing it, I woke up and I knew.
I got up and I went to the other side of her bed, I fixed her clothes, and I said, “Now you will see your Betrothed, the One you want because he will be your Spouse.”
And so, I tidied everything up and I also gave her a sort of stick with a little water or oil to moisten her lips, and I said, “Now, you’re ready; go, he's waiting for you.”
The look she gave me struck me on the inside and then everything changed; I didn’t realize it right away but it was afterwards that I realized that everything began at that moment.
When I returned home, the need to pray the rosary was so strong, and also to pray with little books, and so, I prayed and prayed.
I started going back to mass every day despite the fact that I was working in renovating; every day, I had that need to pray inside me, the need to give myself sincerely.
We can pray all we like in life, but if we pray because someone was showing us or saying it with us – mom or dad – we do it but it’s as if we lose, we lose that need, that love. We don’t feel like praying anymore: “Ah, I pray! Ah, I find this too long! Ah, I have to force myself to pray!” But when it’s given by Heaven, there's something that explodes inside us, we begin to pray and the tears start falling – It feels so good.
That link, it holds us; it’s as if the rosary was holding us on the inside; we’re no longer able to give it up, it’s our breath of life. That’s when we’re happy, that’s when there's a sort of communication between Heaven and us; we let ourselves dive into all this and I was finding this so beautiful, really beautiful!
I would see wonderful things inside me; my eyes were shut and it seemed as if I was seeing movements. In the beginning, I said, “It’s my imagination, it can't be!” But I would let myself go in all this; it felt good, it felt good!
And yet, I didn’t think about what I was seeing, but I was still seeing it. “Ah, no! It’s my imagination.” I would reject it, but the feeling to pray was so strong: one rosary, two rosaries, three rosaries; it was wonderful.
But there were other things, as well: attacks from Satan. Oh! That’s when I discovered that Satan is really there. We know this because our parents, as well, told us that: “If you don’t listen, you'll go to hell.” This scared us.
Rita would also tell us stories of saints, saints who had gone to hell; saints who had gone to hell, permitted by God, and when they would come back, they bore witness to the presence of what they had seen.
So, she would tell us all this; sometimes, it would frighten us a tiny little bit, but other times we weren't able to stay away – we liked listening to that.
And now, all this was in my life now.
There were attacks in my life, attacks that would come in my sleep; it was so present that I had the impression of living it, and the more I prayed, the more those dreams seemed to be part of my life, so much so that I spoke to my husband about it. This made him panic a little, well actually, quite a bit. He said, “You don’t have to pray so much, the Lord isn't asking you for that much!”
But I continued praying, and I continued praying because… why? Other people were praying and they were saying, “You must not stop praying; Satan doesn’t want you to earn graces to save souls; continue praying.”
Me, I would pray, I would pray, because that need to pray was an inner joy that was always there, and I didn’t want Satan to be able to prevent me from obtaining graces to save souls.
There were always my children through all this, because in my life, when it wasn’t Satan, there were visions and it was as if I was being shown things that were going to happen or that had happened… I don’t know, but it was so real and so intense: to see a cross rising like this and that stands in front of me, and then, to see people beside it suffering so much, who neglect their children and don’t protect their children, and to see the cross falling… and all this – I was living it; the cross was so alive!
I knew that indifference was making the cross fall and that Jesus was lifting the cross back up; he was lifting it back up, that cross. Well, this is what Heaven was showing me, but without my really knowing what was happening in my life.
I would always go to Marmora for the Holy Virgin, but those dreams were there, those roses, the smell of roses all the time, all the time, all the time; I had spoken to a priest about it and the priest would say, “You must have a spiritual father,” but who should I go to? And so, I waited.
But the need to go to mass every day was always there; to go to Confession every fifteen days! I would go to Confession and when I would go to Confession, I was stronger, I would go and draw strength from within the sacraments; this would cover me; I felt myself immersed in that power and it would lead me to always continue and continue praying.
And that’s when I discovered, I discovered that we had to pray for our brothers and our sisters of the whole world, because it was through the sufferings of my children that the Lord was speaking; but this, I didn’t know this.
But I did know one thing: when I would see my children suffering in my dreams, I would wake up and I would say, “Mother Mary, you want me to pray for my children? I will pray.”
And then, I would pray, and I would pray all night as I had already started praying more often; this, only graces could have brought this about.
During the day, I still had my work; working in construction wasn’t easy. You know, eh, Normande? For a woman, it isn't easy to demolish walls of drywall, to recycle to save money: to remove old nails, to turn the plywood over, to rebuild everything.
So, it was a lot of work but I always continued doing what I had to do.
At night, I would pray; during the day, I would pray because when I was in a room and my husband was in another one, I had my radio on; and they would recite the rosary, so I would recite the rosary. My husband, he didn’t recite the rosary; I recited the rosary, and this went on and on.
The Lord comes to his children like this; he doesn’t to us promising that everything will be easy, saying, “It will be as easy as pie for you; you will have no sufferings;” he said none of this to me.
Through Mother Mary – because since 2001, I was hearing the voice of Mother Mary – through Mother Mary, she would say, “Abandonment, abandonment, obedience to my Son.” For fifteen days: “Obedience to my Son, abandonment,” and I was receiving graces, and graces, and graces.
When the voice of Jesus made itself heard inside me, then it was more abandonment: “Give me your life, leave yourself in my hands.”
And so, he was teaching me, he was also teaching me with what was inside me: movements I wasn’t aware of.
There were teachings, teachings all the time; they were accompanied by images; and this was the Church – there were some of our brothers and some of our sisters.
In Volume 1, there are many testimonials and dreams. He was teaching me through dreams and after, he would give me the teaching. Then, I was able to write it down or to tape it; he would tell me everything I needed to do.
When I would receive messages every day, they were always linked to the Gospel of the day – always, always.
I would receive in the morning and when I would go to mass, then it was as if they were connected. So much so that at times, on Sunday when I would go to mass after having written and having read this to my daughters before going to mass, they would say, “Mom, what he said, well, you wrote it down this morning;” so, it was always related to his teaching.
Jesus was teaching me to live in the present just as he teaches us to live in the present; he wants us to be true in our present, he wants us to learn to give him our sufferings in the present, he wants our sufferings from the past to be given to him.
When we give something from the past, he fills it, he fills it with his graces, but if we don’t give it to him, we stay there, and then, it takes up room and as it takes up room, we no longer think of praying with love; we’re too inclined, in our mind, to live in the past. Imagine, we’re living in the past.
When we don’t give Jesus our past, our past lives on; it’s in our life, it’s part of our life, and the past is something that eats away at us, it’s something that reminds us of what made us suffer. The past is something that already belongs to God, it is no longer ours, but because of what’s inside us, we have trouble giving it.
But what is inside us? Our sufferings; our sufferings are inside us, we live them, and the more we suffer, the more we think of our past; and the more hopeless we become, the more we want to get away from it, and the more we think of the future; we imagine a life for ourselves where we will solve our problems.
When it hurts too much, we fix things our own way: this is going to happen, he's going to die, she's going to get rid of this, there's going to be a separation, we’ll sell this, we’ll sell that, I’ll leave, I'm going to meet someone, the other will get out of here; this, this is our future: we want to build ourselves a better world with our sufferings.
We want to find solutions to our suffering, so we find ways; our present becomes deafening: we get into music, we get into television, we watch programs, we buy novels – we shape our life.
The woman, she creates a scenario that is quite romantic, but in her own way; she's ready to crush those who are in her way and often, it’s the husband who’s in her way; she wants to push him aside. Oh! She doesn’t want to make him die, she wants to control his life, she wants to change him into what she, she's thinking in her mind: “You should say this, you should tell me this, you should do this, you shouldn’t do that, why aren’t you going there?” She wants to change him, she wants to transform him because it’s in her head; now, in her mind, she knows how to live.
The man, he flees; he flees his life, he flees his life through newspapers, the news; he flees his life through pornographic books, very often hidden away, but he does do it. When he grows older, he casts this aside, he leaves this to the young, but his being remembers all of this.
This, this is the world of Satan; this isn't our world. Our world is the one that shares, it’s the one that lives its present.
If we don’t give our past to God so he can fill it with peace and joy, we sink deeper day by day into the dungeon. You know, a dungeon is a place where they used to put prisoners and forgot about them until they died; so, that’s where we put ourselves.
Inside us, there are places where we have put our sadness, but our sadness is part of us; I'm the one who chose to put it there, I'm the one who makes those choices, it isn't my husband, it isn't my child, it isn't my brothers, it isn't my sisters, it’s me. And so, we live with those little corners inside us, which make us suffer; this, this is our life.
But Jesus, he looks at us and he uses children who pray so we can obtain graces to keep us alive in the present; even if we don’t live our present, Jesus sustains us; even if we live in all those thoughts that aren’t from God, but from Satan, Jesus sustains us.
Jesus is our strength, Jesus is alive, he's the Life; it’s not us – he's the Life. Those who believe in Jesus have eternal life; and so life is eternal.
There are two things: eternal life, eternal death. Other than this, there's nothing else. He didn’t say, “Okay, well, I have my little life on earth.” Ah! But your life, is it eternal or is it something that you’re living? Have you already prepared for your death? Do you live or are you like a person who is half dead? You’re the one who makes your choice, you’re the one who makes your life; and this is our life’s choice: when we believe in Jesus, we believe in the Life, we believe that Jesus is there.
Despite the fact that our thoughts are in the past or in the future, there's always something inside us that sustains us, that shows us that we’re true: this is hope, faith. As small as the hope may be, as small as the faith may be, that little grain is present, it is in the Life.
Death has no hope; death, it has no faith.
You see, when we have hope, it means that we’re alive; when we believe that maybe it might be true, well, this is faith – oh! so little, but it’s faith; it isn't dead, it’s still alive, and so, this is us.
And the Lord comes to speak in our hearts, he comes to awaken what belongs to us so we can give it to him.
He wants our yes, he wants us to give him our life so that we can go on living on earth with our sufferings, with the sufferings of our brothers and of our sisters, up until the moment when we will live on earth like Adam and Eve lived: believe in this, believe in it, really!
I will tell you what happened one day, oh, during a short time one day at Plantagenet.
We were there during the Christian holidays; Christian holidays means seven days in the presence of Jesus, of Mary, of Heaven: we pray, we sing, we dance for God, we praise God, we adore God, we listen to the power of the Holy Spirit, we do the Way of the Cross, the rosary, but according to what God wants us to do every second.
There's no planning. Hey, we’re on vacation! It’s out of the question to make a schedule – we’re on vacation!
And so, one day, the Lord, he decided that there would be a mass for our ancestors.
During the mass, there's a moment when we give our ancestors and I gave all the way back to Adam and Eve. They’re my ancestors too; it’s not just five generations, seven generations: it goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. And then, he began saying a phrase continuously – Adam and Eve, and everything: “I give you their sufferings, I give you all those who came after Adam and Eve up to today;” it was continuous, continuous.
This is what I was living inside myself and then, at a certain point during Communion, I saw, I saw an angel; then, the angel left – he was so big – he left from a certain location but as if he were lying down, and everywhere behind him, there was a trail of his passing and then something sort of opened up.
It was so beautiful to see this and then, all of a sudden, what I saw was: a man and a woman, they were both naked.
So, I looked because during Communion – I have to explain to you that Heaven allows me to see; I see as I see you but it happens inside me – so, there was a man and a woman; the woman, she had hair up to here and it was brown but not very, very dark, and the man also had hair that was light brown and not too dark.
So, I looked and then, something rose up inside me – I knew that it was Adam and Eve; so, I said, “But you’re just like they showed me when I was young.”
Then, something happened – it was so beautiful! They sort of disappeared and then, I saw two beings, two beings of such beauty! The girl, her hair was down to her hips and it was so… not thick like this, but all covered in light, it was wavy and every tip had a little light on it.
Her hair was of such great beauty, all her features were beautiful; her skin was a sort of white, but of such great beauty; her shape was perfect, and what a smile!
She was so beautiful, but so beautiful, and there was a man beside her; oh, she must have reached him about here, he was a head taller. He was beautiful, he was tall, his hair was blonde just like her hair was blonde, and it was wavy all the way down to his shoulders, up to here.
And then, his eyes, his eyes! It felt as if I were diving into his eyes, and when I dove into his eyes, it was as if I were seeing: seeing a place. In a very short time, I saw all of it: I saw trees, I saw the sky, I saw plants, I saw hillsides, I saw mountains, I saw water; everything was so beautiful, everything was so clear, the colours were so beautiful, so beautiful, it was so beautiful, and I looked!
I came back to myself, I looked: Eve came close to me – because I know that it was Eve – and she had a flower in her hand; it was a rose, it was white; she came forward, but when she came forward it didn’t seem as if she was walking – it was as if her steps were skimming the place where she was walking.
I couldn’t see the ground, I knew she was walking… oh, there was no ground or a wall, but she was coming towards me and I received; I held out my hand and I received that rose, and then, I saw, and the voice of Adam said to me, “Come.” And I found myself in that place I had seen inside his eyes.
There were – it wasn’t a forest, it was much more open, there were no closed spaces in it – and there was a large leaf, a large leaf of a nice green, a green so beautiful and at the same time, so shiny.
Then, I saw a child come out from behind that leaf; that child must have been barely two, three years old, and he came out; he came towards me and he gave me a rose, the same as the one I was holding in my hands, and then, that rose merged with the other rose, and then, I saw more: there were other children, other children holding roses.
They were holding them, and then, all together we turned around – because I was no longer, I was a little child – and Mary was there, Mary who was all dressed in white; she was so beautiful in her veil, she was close to Jesus, and she too, she reached him about here, up to Jesus’ shoulder – he was so beautiful!
We all gave the roses to Mary and put them at her feet, all the roses were placed at Mary's feet, and then, we looked at Jesus and we adored Jesus: we got down on our knees and placed our faces on the ground and we adored Jesus, and I saw him!
When I came back to myself, I was so joyful; I related what I had seen because God asked me to, and I went to see my spiritual father afterwards and I told him all this; the emotions of that experience remained with me for quite some time; ah, it felt so good!
How can we think that this doesn’t exist? It’s inconceivable! Paradise existed and it exists! Adam and Eve existed and they exist; they have such great beauty.
Oh! What I'm telling you, I can't really describe it even if I wanted to give you details!
There was an artist who was attending the vacation and when I was talking, he was saying, “It’s impossible! What I'm feeling isn't worthy of what you’re saying, so I can't put what you just described on canvas.”
No, it can't be described, it’s too real, and at the same time, it takes faith: to believe, to believe that all this… how do we live with these two movements: having faith and being powerless while living all this? This is what God is asking of us.
God keeps us in the truth, he keeps us in his faith so that we can go forward, so that we can always live in that hope because it’s in us; what I saw inside myself, it’s in every one of us.
Heaven is inside us, we’re with the saints in Heaven: the triumphant Church and this, this is alive, this is part of our life, and we must always pray with the saints in Heaven, with the souls in purgatory, and believe: never stop believing.
Satan has done all he could to tear this away from us; he wants to lead us to eternal death.
Today, his attacks are so strong, his ruses are beyond anything we can imagine; we know he's present, we know he's sly, but we can't even imagine how he is, not at all.
But Mother Mary is always there, she protects us; Jesus is always there, he protects us. Yes, it’s true that there are many attacks from Satan; yes, it’s true that sin is flourishing, but grace is flourishing even more.
Let’s take a look at ourselves – we’re together tonight and we form but one heart to help others believe, to help others live their lives in the present.
There's only God who can enable us to live in the present; Adam and Eve are our present, they aren’t our past; our past is something that no longer exists in our life.
Adam and Eve exist, are part of our life, they’re alive, they’re in eternal life, they haven’t disappeared, it’s true – this is eternal life and this is our life.
When our time to work on earth is over, we’ll be with them; we’ll be what we should have always been: perfect children with no flaws, children who adore Jesus, who love Mother Mary, for this is what I saw.
I saw children who love the Holy Virgin, the Mother of God; I saw children who adored Jesus and who weren't asking themselves any questions. They were carrying the rose, purity, they were carrying their innocence, the innocence of a child who has never committed a sin; they were carrying all this and this is us, we’ll be like that.
Jesus, during our vacation, spoke to us of idolatry; the vacation was about idolatry; as much as he led us to live wonderful moments, he also taught us to give him painful movements.
We went forward through all this; this was a continuation of what he had given us beforehand, for we knew who Satan was, the fallen angel.
Through the power of the Holy Spirit, he revealed to us what Satan is. Oh, not everything! Only what we need to know: the one who turned himself into the Proud One, the Self.
From that point on, he spoke to us about the New Age: the Self; the Self is the Antichrist.
He explained everything to us, he led us, through his almightiness, in the present with Cain and his lineage.
We lived all this; we lived what it means to be a witness of disloyalty; some of the angels were disloyal to God and the descendants of Cain were disloyal to God, which led to degradation all over the earth.
That, that was before the flood, and he also led us to the flood; how come, after the flood, evil was still here? He explained everything to us.
The being of darkness who had accepted Satan, who had accepted that Satan teach him, tricked Noah’s family in order to be saved, so he could influence us; all this was revealed to us and this has continued and continued.
He spoke to us about everything that’s happening regarding the New Age; the New Age is much more powerful than you think, for it’s Satan.
He wants us to support our brothers and our sisters for, during the week of vacation (the first one – there are two during the year), he spoke to us about the New Age within the Ten Commandments of God to remind us that we mustn’t judge, to remind us that we all carry the consequences of our choices before sin, of our lack or prayers, of sincerity towards ourselves.
And then we spent days in Confession because he was enabling us to realize that we’re all children who have lived in suffering since Adam and Eve and that we carry the trace of this in our flesh; all this was shown to us.
We don’t have the right to keep ourselves in that suffering – we aren’t God.
He spoke of idolatry.
We don’t have the right to allow ourselves to die by living in the poison Satan has put in our life, around our life, because the illnesses we’re living are the consequence of all this.
Mother Mary told us that afterwards there would be many renunciations, renunciations of idolatry: to no longer take ourselves for gods and to no longer have gods around us in our homes.
Then, she said, “There will be healings, illnesses will diminish; the more my children renounce, the more illnesses will diminish.” And this, this is the Holy Virgin who told us this.
We must be that Church that is reborn from its ashes; we must always regard our Church as a living Church.
Our priests are the Christ-Priest, our priests are, for us, Jesus in the present.
Suffering is in God's child who has allowed himself to fall into the trap – there are many of them; all God's children have allowed themselves to fall into the trap, all the children who carry a yes, and there are many.
But there are also the children who carry a definite no; he doesn’t call these ‘children of God’, but he tells us, “I will not reveal to you who those children are, for you will carry them as I carry them; you will learn to love unconditionally the one who will spit in my face.”
This is what God is doing during these times: he's teaching us to love unconditionally, he's teaching us to be like him: a being of love, a perfect being.
And so, imagine, we’re all called to be perfect like his Father is perfect.
Who can make us perfect? Only the One who gave himself up out of love to save us from eternal death; he has already lived these movements, this has led him to his Glory.
We will take a short time, if you wish, to rest for ten minutes, and we will continue later on, if you wish. Thank you.