Gathering of Love With God's Action
Through His Instrument, The Girl of My Will in Jesus

2012-02-17 – A Time of Surrender

The Girl of My Will in Jesus in the Holy Spirit: In a couple, they must love each other; a couple must be united; in a couple, both must learn to look at the other without ever asking for anything. In a couple, when he looks at his wife, when she looks at her husband, a couple must be fully united in heart, because that’s what God said: “I shall be your bond, I shall be the one who will unite you.”

We made a loaf of bread this morning and we made a loaf of bread this afternoon. You have flour, you have water; and in order for the two to bind together, well, you need yeast. Yes, but you also need sugar; yes, sugar and salt are very good friends. Therefore, all these create a bond, a very strong bond. The Lord knows that we have our own character. The man has his, the woman has hers. The salt, of course – the salt of the earth, the strength of earth – adds a little bite, it keeps things in the right place: grounded. But the honey, the sugar: these are the kindness, these are the caresses, these are the tender words, these are the gentleness in the couple. And so, we need salt – God's strength, gentleness; we need sugar – God's affection, gentleness. We need these.

A couple cannot be a couple without a man or without a woman. There's no such thing as a couple without the man and the woman. And so, when God created, he knew. He created, but God didn’t need the man and the woman because in him there is everything: he is female and he is male, he is male and he is female. God is a whole; he doesn’t need a man, he doesn’t need a woman – he's God. But he said: “Let’s create man in our image” – let’s create man in “our” image. He created Adam, and from Adam he brought forth woman. When he thought, “Let’s create man in our image,” it was impossible for him not to think of the woman because God has a male side – well, we use the words that are familiar to us – and he has a female side. And so, God said, “Let’s create man in our image,” and therefore, man and woman are in God's image.

That’s why both need each other. The man must soften his heart to the needs of his wife and the woman must contain herself before the strength of the man because she has received everything from the man. She received strength from the man but she must hold back: whoops, I will let him have his place and I will stay in my place. Both have what God gave to the other. The man needs the woman’s gentleness because… why does he need it? Because he has gentleness inside him. He needs to be nourished by what he is, and therefore, he takes charge of everything: okay, I will give this to my wife, I won't take up too much room, I will give her what she needs.

That’s why the man is quiet. He likes to remain silent, to rest, he likes to enter within, whereas the woman chatters on and on and on; she's always, always moving around. She can do four or five things at once: answer the phone, change a diaper, mix batter; she stops to wipe her child’s nose, and then, whoops, one more thing – it’s time to put another load of laundry in the machine; and she's thinking, “Oh, I have to add this to my grocery list.” Everything enters the woman! The man needs to stop and take a break. He needs to stop in order to absorb everything, and then: “I have to let strength enter me, I have to let gentleness enter me, I have to let my patience rise to the surface, I have to let my perseverance rise to the surface. I need to be the salt of the earth, to be the one to bear that flavour.”

We know that salt contains many minerals. A good salt contains many minerals, but in order for it to have any taste, it has to be what it was meant to be. Therefore, the man needs to be who he is: he needs his silence, he needs to process what he did during the day; then he relaxes and he thinks about it. He needs quiet in the house, and so, he will let his wife do the talking: “She will stop at some point and I’ll be able to rest a little.” And yet, he doesn’t want to crush her – on the contrary, he has it within himself, he has it within himself to give everything to his wife. He rushes to help her when her load is too heavy and he rushes to help her when she's giving birth. He will always run to help if, for example, she has too much work to do at home with the children.

The man knows, he knows how to fulfil his wife, he isn't lazy. He's there, and he knows when he has to get up to help his wife. His wife doesn’t need to ask him because it comes from inside him. If it comes from his wife, then this will only last for a certain amount of time; the honeymoon is over, it will last a while longer; the children are young, it can go on a little longer, a little longer. He continues to put up with it, and continues some more until the moment when: “Okay, I know what I have to do,” and then he tunes it out, he stops listening and he enters within himself. “I can't listen to her anymore, I can't hear myself think!”

The man doesn’t need the woman to know what he has to do – the man knows this on his own. He has so much love for his wife that it emerges from him. He's one step ahead of her: he helps her get out of the car, he helps her get out of her car, he helps her go down the steps, he carries the heaviest packages. He doesn’t need the woman to ask him – he just has to look at his heart, his heart that presents itself to him. Yes, when he sees the woman and she needs help, well, he lets his heart guide him and he goes to help her. He sees his heart and he is true to himself. That’s when he's always able to feel confident, that’s when he's strong in times of trouble, because he knows that there will be difficult times. Because, as he ages, he learns, he learns that, yes, the Lord told him “You shall earn your bread by the sweat of your brow” – yes, he knows this. And so, he gathers his strength every day in order to work by the sweat of his brow.

He knows that his wife will need him; he knows that, at a certain point during childbirth, his wife will need someone who is reliable by her side, a wide shoulder for her to lean on, and also a back that is able to take quite a bit, because, you know, the Lord did say: “Give me everything, my yoke is light. I shall take your heavy yoke.” And the man is like this too. The man is also able to carry his wife’s yoke when it becomes too heavy, when the children constantly, constantly, constantly need attention.

When her task becomes overwhelming, the man stops at a certain point, and then he's ready to do anything. He's ready to take over during those difficult times of the month, when her character… He can feel it coming – oh, oh, her tone is a little harsh, her steps are quicker; whoops, that drawer was a little loud; I just noticed that she slammed that door a little too loudly; and then, he knows. She has forgotten that her period was coming. The man knows even before she does; he looks at her and he can tell that something’s going to happen. And then, after a teary day: “Oh, I got my period.” “Well, there you go, that’s why you were feeling like that” – he won't reproach her; he’ll simply point out: that’s why you felt like that.

Do you see how good God is? He takes care of us through our husbands, and the same is true for the wife. The wife will support her husband. He forgets that he has worked hard and that he needs to rest too. He forgets that he's overloaded with responsibilities regarding his family, and she reminds him, she reminds him: we’re not asking for all this; do you think that we really need all of this? She will calm him down and then he will feel that she supports him. And yet, he wants to give her things that will make life more comfortable, he wants to give her what she needs for the children so she doesn’t have as much work to do at home. But she reminds him, she reminds him that he needs gentleness too: be good to yourself, let me take on a little of what you have taken on by yourself.

She will do this gently without his noticing, because she knows that he needs to keep the household on the right path. He's the man of the house, he's the captain, he's the one who is at the helm, he's the one who knows which way is east, west, north and south – he's the one who knows this. But over time, she has learned, she has learned that north is that way, right? She has learned that south is the opposite of north; she has learned that, when he gets up in the morning, he isn't in the same mood as when he goes to bed at night. She has learned this, she has turned it over and over in her mind, but she doesn’t point this out to him – no, because she loves him too much. She lets him have his place: take your place, husband, I won't take it from you; I’ll stay right here beside you, right beside you.   

Then, she will gently remind him: come and rest, come and rest. Here, I made you a little bit of fudge, not too much; your cholesterol is a little high. Slowly, she will guide him: here, look, now this is good for you. Oh, there's a little cholesterol in this, but eat just a bit and this will help lower your cholesterol. She will weigh her words to avoid reminding him that his cholesterol is high. She knows, she knows what pain is, she knows what it means to deprive yourself because she has carried children in her womb. She knows what it is to breastfeed her child and to avoid eating whatever she wants so that her child can be well-fed; but he, he doesn’t know this yet, not like she does, but she doesn’t tell him this.

It’s through the meals she prepares for him that he notices: oh, look, she gave me less meat this time, a little more vegetables and yet, she knows that I'm not that fond of vegetables. But she's careful; she sees that he's not that fond of vegetables and that there are some left over. She will quietly choose the vegetables that he likes and she will serve them to him. This is the breeze in his life, this is the morning dew, this is the tenderness of the evening that helps him get ready for bed. Ah, he doesn’t need me to tell him that the baby is teething; he doesn’t need that; I’ll tell him when he's not as tired. This is like that extra drop of honey in your tea, right?

That is what the woman is to the man. She will know how to support him through those difficult times when the children are getting older and, from time to time, they come home with a friend that dad may not always like, and she will help him accept that person. They’re no longer our children now; they're God's children, and we surrender them to him. Well, we will learn to welcome that young man or that young woman without saying a word. And it’s the woman who will say to the husband: look how happy she is with him. Sometimes, the man will say to her: don’t you think he's nice? There will always be something that will tip the scales to the left or to the right, while the other adds a tiny bit of love without pressuring the other so that the scales may balance out, because he has learned and she has learned. This is love, this is the love of a couple.

Today, this isn't what we’re being taught; this has been forgotten. Did we ever really know, did we ever really know this? How was Abraham with Sarah? How was Esther able to live out her days with her king, her husband that she loved? God showered them with graces. How did Adam and Eve live on earth? They looked up towards Heaven and said: “My God, you created us. I am your breath of love; you gave part of me and I see myself in her.” And she, she looks at Adam, and thanking God, says: “Oh! My God, I come from him and you chose me, me, to be his wife. You knew which part of him to choose so that I, Eve, might exist, and you did not do this randomly for you knew which part to use. A rib filled with love ensured that I exist today, a part of love ensured that I exist today.”

The Divine Will that carries out his Will and that presents itself: Adam and Eve, our first models of love, our “first” models of love. Can we take a moment to consider this? How many times did they look into each other’s eyes? How many times did they listen to each other? How many times did they walk one beside the other? How many times did they come together as man and wife? How many times did they thank God? How many times did they cry together? How many times did they pray together? How many times did they hope together? Yes, they were the first spouses on earth; they are our models of love.

Over the years, we have accumulated our own choices. Our own choices weren't always the choices of both: the husband, the wife who decide. Was it what the husband wanted sometimes or what the wife wanted sometimes, one or the other? It doesn’t matter – God blessed us. He gave us the strength to continue while knowing that, yes, while knowing that we were going to live with our own choices, with our human will that was going to bring us so much suffering.

Today, it’s easy to see that: the couples that are together are the couples with heart, the couples who have survived great trials; the couples that, when they cry with one on the right and the other on the left, they talk to God; or if they don’t know God, they turn to love, to the love that keeps them together. Yes, they turn to love. They don’t realize that love comes from God; they don’t know him but what they do know is what holds them together: love. Therefore, it’s always God who keeps couples together, it’s always him. It’s God who gives patience, who gives perseverance, tolerance; it’s God who upholds the freedom of the couple.

A couple must have its freedom. Have you ever watched one couple with another couple, and another couple with another couple? Their freedom, my freedom. They’re able to share: “Oh, well, this is what I’ll be doing. As for me, this is what I’m going to do. Oh, really? You did that with your wife? Of course I did it with my husband.” But the couple has freedom. “I'm heading south for my vacation! Oh, really? Well, I’ll be vacationing in my back yard.” And each couple is free to do as it pleases. Well, because of that freedom, there's respect: “Hey, is that where you went? That’s great. And you, you stayed in your backyard? Oh, that’s wonderful! Did you have a nice summer? Oh, yes! And you, did you have a nice winter? Oh, yes!” Freedom ensures that there's sharing, an appreciation for what others are doing in relation to them. So, it’s as though the one were giving the other an example: they nourish one another through their freedom. Well, this is how a couple must be: the man is free and the woman is free. There isn't only one kind of freedom, there are two: the man has his way of thinking, of reacting, and the woman has her way of thinking and of reacting.

In the beginning, the Lord said: “The man is the salt and the woman is the honey in the bread.” Each one plays a very important role in making sure the bread tastes good. However, if the salt assumes the properties of the other, and the sugar assumes the properties of the other, well, then the bread won't be the same – the bread will not contain that love. It needs love in order to rise, in order to multiply. Every tiny grain that was milled, every tiny grain needs another tiny grain so that all of the grains can be in unison with one another. They need something that will always hold them together – salt and sugar – always together, and they multiply. And man is like this. The man and woman have their freedom, “their” freedom so that those two types of freedom can create harmony in order to multiply.

This is God's abundance: procreation. Man and woman need this. If the man isn't free in and through what he is, where is he? At a certain point, he will ask himself: “Where am I? Have I kept my masculine side or have I become too sweet? I've reached the point where I can't think anymore, I can't react anymore. I'm so confused!” So, he sulks, he doesn’t talk, he stays in his little corner, thinking and thinking: “Well, I'm not living my life anymore; I'm living my wife’s life.”

And for the woman, it’s the same. At a certain point, she grumbles, and then she goes to the hairdresser, then she buys a little perfume, and a little of this, and a little of that, or she takes a trip, and another trip, and another trip! And she takes over her children’s lives, oh, how she takes over! She takes up so much room that she plays the role of the man as well. She wants to protect them too much, too much. She no longer knows that she also needs to remain silent, with gentleness, while humming a little tune – right? – and to be a ray of sunshine in the house. She's the one who greets her husband, she's the one who creates the atmosphere in the house – she's the sun! The sun enters everywhere; everyone can feel it: ah, it feels so good! When you go home, you feel that that is where you belong. The man puts on his little slippers and then he's happy to be home. Now, he's basking in his sunshine.

Each person is free. The freedom of the one has been respected and that of the other as well, and together, they grow old together. They lean on each other so they can continue their journey on earth together, and then, they learn that every bite contains a certain gentleness: it doesn’t need any salt and it doesn’t need any honey, it is complete. They move forward in life like this now, without being afraid. Now they truly taste what they are. The trials have come and gone, the storms have come and gone, the children have grown up. Your hair is white, my hair is white too. Is that another wrinkle? It doesn’t matter, I didn’t even see it. We’re together and it feels good to be together.

This is the couple that offers its works to God continuously: the husband presents his wife and the wife presents her husband. The works of one are the works of the other, without ever infringing upon their respective freedom. They no longer need to struggle because they know, now they know. Everything has reached a state of perfect fulfilment: this is the couple.

And what is it that we still need to learn? Respect. We live in a world in which people no longer respect others. We have brought so many things that did not belong to us into our homes. Yes, it’s true that the Girl of My Will is always going on about television. But you know, for a couple, isn't it sweeter when they exchange words of love instead of sitting side by side and hearing them coming out of the television? Remember when we first got engaged, all those promises! They weren't made through a television – you were gazing into each other’s eyes, holding hands. Those were the most beautiful moments of all, the moments that shine the brightest! We need to tell ourselves this, and we should never forget this. It’s the words that come from the heart that are the most meaningful to us and that we never forget!  

The television throws empty words at us; this strikes our ears, this becomes lodged inside us and it hides itself: wait, you won't forget me, because when you do forget these words that I keep hidden inside me, I’ll remind you of them. But not the words that come from the one we love: that’s different. Those are words that enter us and create a garden of their own: one word becomes a seed, another word becomes fertilizer, another becomes the dew; and whoops, another word turns into a little more water; another word turns into a little more sun; another word, oh, a little bit of shade, we need some coolness. It is the words of love that make our garden grow continually.

Yes, sometimes there are words that remind us: yes, there are rocks in your garden, but it’s okay because we’ll move them out of the way together; and yet again, we’ll move them out of the way together; and yet again, we’ll move them out of the way together. How about getting rid of them? We’ll do it together because they’re pretty heavy. And how can we go about this? With prayer: prayer is what removes them and we need to do this together. That’s our garden; no television can do this, none. These are our evenings after a tiring day. We have forgotten those moments.

Don’t you think that Abraham had moments when he was with Sarah? And in their private moments beneath the tent they exchanged intimate words – oh, those were moments of joy! They had the impression they were hearing music, they had the impression they were experiencing moments of such deep, deep serenity that everything before their eyes seemed to contain every colour. They didn’t need to travel, oh no – they had everything, everything was within them. They could taste God's creation through what they were feeling. They could feel its depth just as they could feel what it meant to reach the fullness of love, the heights of Mount Everest. They knew this because God was taking care to nourish them so that both could reveal that God was fulfilling them.

They didn’t need the television, they didn’t need the radio. The woman hummed a tune, hummed a tune of love that emerged from her heart, and he, he listened to her and it was worth a thousand words. Which orchestra could have produced such harmony? They had everything; they needed nothing more than what they were experiencing in that moment. Let’s not replace those moments of love. A couple should not be bored; no, a couple should not be bored. When you’re sitting beside the other, not a word is exchanged; you understand the language of the other. You don’t need to move, you know what the other wants, everything you need is there. You don’t need to get up and dance a waltz – you’re already waltzing, your two hearts are waltzing together. At a certain point, everything erupts, the tears flow, happiness flows, and yet, neither one of them told the other what he was feeling, and both cry tears of joy.

This is so beautiful! Nothing can replace this moment of fulfilment! This is love, this is love that has met love; this is love that chose the time and date and arrived on time; this is love being given. What is being experienced in that moment is the most beautiful love story of all. No man is able to write such a story: love that is being lived, that is present, that is being given. This fills an entire evening and is a preparation, a preparation for the moment when you lay your head down on your pillow, and you hear: I love you, I love you too. And in that moment filled with love, both shut their eyes and sleep comes, and it is undisturbed until morning.

One was filled with trust and the other was surrendered. This was love that demanded nothing from one or the other; it is present and has brought them together as one. In that very moment, there was but one love: that love which God placed in the one and in the other, that came together and presented itself before God, and that God welcomed and upon which he breathed: “My love, you come to reveal yourself to me tonight. How beautiful you are, how great you are, how eternal you are. I take you and I breathe my love upon you that you may go once more, yes, that you may go once more where I want you to go. Go, for they are waiting for you.” And then, love lasts longer still. It finds its temple of love and it gives of itself and gives of itself; and upon waking, he opens his eyes and she already has her eyes upon him. They look at each other and no one speaks, neither of them speaks as that moment is unique. It lasts only a few seconds, and yet, it has laid the groundwork for the entire day. The entire day is now ready to be lived.

It is love, it is love that will give the man strength and the woman gentleness once more so that everything may be before God, genuine before God, that everything may be a source of nourishment for all of God's children, but first and foremost for those God has presented to that couple: the fruit of this work, the work of love. They’re only a few months old, they’re only a few years old, but they’re still attached to the tree of life, to love. They drink, they eat, they grow, they listen, they look, they think, and then they speak of love, they act with love, and they say, “I love you, daddy” and “I love you, mommy,” because they know what love is. Yes, there will be rocks for them as well, and their parents will also have to help them move the rocks out of the way until the moment when they will recite the rosary together, and then God will take those rocks away, and they will feel lighter.

This is family, this is what grows every day and goes through walls, through tents, and spreads. No matter where you live, this spreads throughout the earth. Wherever there is a heart, there is love, love, and all hearts recognize that this comes from God. This is what true love is! This is the love God desires and this is the love of our first parents; this is the love of Abraham for Sarah, of Sarah for Abraham; this is the love Joseph had for his wife and that his wife had for Joseph; Jacob, Jacob with his wives, his two wives – how much gentleness his first wife must have had in her eyes when she looked at Jacob, and how forgiving Jacob’s eyes must have been when he looked at her! 

Yes, God is love and he is the one who gives love, he is the one who breathes his love upon our love and who nourishes it continuously. We recognize that it belongs to God and not to us. That love belongs to God and we must give it to him. When a beloved leaves this world: yes, Lord, I give him to you. God's love goes to meet God's love because it belongs to him. He belongs to him just as she belongs to him, to God, and to no one else. Love must return to The Love. This is what God's love is.

One day, God's love came on earth to meet love, so that love might grow, procreate. And when it has completed its works, love must return to The Love, and the love that stays behind on earth must always live in that love, that love, which, one day, will in turn return to The Love. And then, all those who have known that love, their love will sing its love to God, will dance the waltz of love for God, and this is for eternity.

There's also another kind of love – it’s the love for our brothers and for our sisters. This love is important. Without this love, couples cannot perceive that they are love – no. The love for one's neighbour, that’s the love that blooms in the fields. It is so vast! We can find wheat, oats, sunflowers, rice, all kinds of things to harvest, and this is the love for one's neighbour, and this love is very important. One day, when we encounter the love for our neighbour, we have taste: ah, it tastes sweet! Ah, it must be cane sugar, it must be sugar beet! He showed me how nice it was to be with him, how nice it was to sing together, how nice it was to spend time together. Yes, but that love has its freedom just as I have my freedom, and she must go wherever love is waiting for her: to her husband’s love for her, right?

And so, we must agree to let love fly away like a dove that flies towards its mate, its dovecote. Yes, like the dove, every one of us has received what God desired for us: that love. Love is never noisy, it is quiet; it doesn’t need to cry out; it’s there and we can feel it inside us. It’s on the inside and it’s genuine; there's no need for fireworks. We don’t need fireworks, right? No, it’s on the inside, it’s real and it’s sincere. That’s what love is.

We don’t need to get to know each other all that well – those are just words exchanged between two people: he did this, he did that in his life… no, no, we don’t need to know those things. The heart is the one that speaks. We felt it in that first look: ah, what a nice field of cucumbers! This is it! It’s green with a little yellow here and there: ah, this is so appealing! We have a little taste, right? This is good, you’re enjoying this: this is love, this is the love for one's neighbour. And when he comes back, his arms are filled with cucumbers and then, he gives them all to you.

Yes, we welcome love, we take what God gives to us. Every person has his place on earth, every person has his own place. God knows, he knows that a certain person must go to Western Canada; but deep down we know, we also know that, in the future, his place is here. Such is the Will of God, right? And he won't arrive alone – there will be many others with him.

Thank you, Lord. Thank you, my God, thank you.

 ♪♪♪